Becoming One: A Sacred Journey to Strengthening Latter-day Saint Marriages

In the debut episode of "One by One," hosts Nick Leyva and Austin Ellis bring their unique blend of therapeutic expertise and spiritual insight to tackle one of the most crucial aspects of family life - creating a strong, unified marriage. Nick, who grew up in Sparks, Nevada, brings real-world experience working with couples from diverse backgrounds, while Austin contributes his extensive therapeutic knowledge to help couples navigate the complexities of marriage. Together, they offer a refreshing perspective that combines professional expertise with gospel-centered principles to help couples achieve what they call a "soul-to-soul" relationship.

Having worked with couples facing everything from daily communication struggles to serious betrayals, Nick and Austin understand that no marriage is beyond hope. Their approach breaks away from the typical self-help formula, instead focusing on a powerful combination of scientific research, therapeutic tools, and most importantly, the healing power of Christ's Atonement to transform relationships.

The Foundation of Becoming One

Marriage in the Latter-day Saint context isn't just about sharing a life together - it's about creating an eternal bond that transcends mortal limitations. Nick and Austin emphasize that this journey begins with the understanding that we marry the "fallen" version of our spouse. This recognition isn't meant to discourage couples but rather to set realistic expectations and create a foundation for growth.

The hosts stress that separate but equal doesn't apply in celestial marriage. True unity requires both partners to work together, growing and evolving through their challenges rather than remaining static in their individual spaces. This process involves developing multiple types of intimacy - emotional, spiritual, intellectual, conversational, recreational, and physical.

Most importantly, they highlight that this journey toward unity isn't about perfection but progression. Every couple starts with what President Nelson calls "two handicaps" - an imperfect man and an imperfect woman. Understanding this reality helps couples approach their relationship with compassion and patience.

Overcoming the Adversary's Influence

One of the most powerful insights shared in the episode is understanding how the adversary works to divide marriages. The hosts explain that Satan's primary goal is to prevent couples from achieving the unity God intends for them, often using personal struggles, past traumas, or current challenges as wedges to drive them apart.

Instead of viewing personal struggles as individual battles, couples are encouraged to unite against these challenges. Whether dealing with addiction, anxiety, past trauma, or other difficulties, the key is to see these issues as external challenges to overcome together rather than allowing them to create division within the marriage.

The hosts emphasize that success in marriage often comes when couples can identify the real enemy - not each other, but the forces working to divide them. This perspective shift allows couples to work as a team, supporting each other through difficulties rather than pointing fingers or assigning blame.

The Role of Divine Help in Marriage

Here's where the podcast takes a unique turn from typical marriage advice. While acknowledging the value of therapy and professional help, the hosts strongly emphasize the primary importance of seeking divine guidance in marriage. They outline several key aspects of this approach:

• Seeking personal revelation for understanding spouse's needs

• Regularly praying together and individually for marriage guidance

• Studying scriptures with marriage in mind

• Applying gospel principles to relationship challenges

• Making Christ the center of the marriage relationship

• Using professional help as a supplement to spiritual guidance

The hosts stress that while therapeutic tools can be valuable, they should complement rather than replace spiritual solutions. They encourage couples to spend as much time seeking divine guidance as they do pursuing other forms of help.

Building a Marital Temple

Austin introduces a powerful analogy comparing marriage to building a temple. This concept involves creating different "rooms" or aspects of the relationship, each serving a specific purpose while contributing to the overall sacred nature of the marriage.

The foundation of this marital temple must be built on safety and trust, anchored in Jesus Christ. The hosts emphasize that while we should trust our spouses, ultimate trust must be placed in the Lord, as He alone is perfectly reliable and capable of helping us overcome our challenges.

Each "room" in this marital temple serves a specific purpose - intimacy, parenting, financial stewardship, and other aspects of married life. This intentional approach to marriage helps couples create a structured yet flexible framework for growing together and addressing various aspects of their relationship.

Taking the First Step Toward Unity

Your marriage journey can transform starting today. The hosts of One by One offer a simple but powerful first step: Set aside time this week to pray about your spouse's needs and how you can better support them. Share these insights with each other and create an action plan together.

No marriage stands beyond the reach of healing and growth. Nick and Austin emphasize throughout their discussion that Christ's power to heal and unite couples knows no limits. The path forward opens when both partners decide to turn to Him for guidance.

The journey to becoming one starts now. Look at your spouse with fresh eyes of compassion today. Recognize that you're both growing and learning together. Set aside any notion of waiting for the "right time" or perfect circumstances. Take that first step by approaching your relationship with renewed intention and purpose, keeping Christ at the center of your marriage.

For more insights and practical tools to strengthen your marriage, tune in to the One by One podcast. Nick and Austin continue exploring these vital topics while providing guidance for couples seeking deeper unity in their relationships.