Transforming Marriage Through God's Formula
This week on the One by One podcast, we tackle a new perspective on marriage, family, and personal development. We come together to challenge worldly wisdom about success and happiness. With our combined experience in business, therapy, and spiritual leadership, we offer unique insights into building stronger marriages and families through Christ-centered principles.
In this powerful episode, we discuss the world's misguided "have, be, do" formula for success and present a divine alternative that could revolutionize your marriage and family life. Drawing from scripture, professional experience, and personal stories, we reveal why focusing solely on material possessions leads to emptiness and how couples can unite their unique gifts to create something greater than themselves.
What Is "Have, Be, Do"
The way we view success today has been shaped by the events that have taken place since the formation of The United States of America. Since World War II, America's unprecedented wealth has fostered a materialistic mindset that continues to shape our lives. Once we have enough stuff, we'll become the person we want to be, and then we'll do something meaningful. However, in the long run, this leaves one unfulfilled.
The "have, be, do" mindset can trap us in destructive patterns. We focus so much on getting to the point where we have things, that when we do, we have neglected personal development. We cannot be someone we do not know how to be. And when you focus so much on “having”, when you eventually get to that point, you are much less inclined to use the wealth you have accumulated.
This broken formula has broader societal implications, particularly in how it's affected gender roles and family dynamics. Post-WWII prosperity led to both men and women entering the workforce in unprecedented numbers, creating an imbalance in the natural complement of masculine and feminine energies within marriages.
God's Formula
The alternative formula is based on scripture, particularly focusing on Jacob 2:18-19. It emphasizes seeking the kingdom of God before riches, suggesting that true success comes from aligning ourselves with God's purposes first.
Personal development and spiritual growth precede material success. The focus shifts from accumulating wealth to building character, developing Christ-like attributes, and creating meaningful relationships. This doesn't dismiss material success but places it in its proper context – as a tool for doing good rather than an end in itself.
The hosts emphasize that this divine formula leads to more fulfilling relationships and stronger families. When couples align themselves with God's purposes and let Him lead, they can create something greater than individual success – a united front capable of meaningful impact in the world.
A Balance of Masculine and Feminine Energy
A balance of masculine and feminine energies within marriage is important. This dynamic is like a yin-yang symbol, where each partner contains elements of both but maintains their primary nature.
Modern society has pushed both men and women toward hypermasculinity in pursuit of career success. This has created imbalances in marriages, often leading women to adopt more masculine traits for self-protection when men fail to provide emotional safety and leadership.
There are developmental stages of healthy masculinity, as pioneered by John Eldredge include:
Boyhood: Innocence and curiosity mark the beginning of the journey.
Cowboy: A reckless explorer, testing limits and seeking adventure.
Warrior: A man pursues his mission with courage and purpose.
Lover: He learns to cherish beauty, love, and deep connection.
King: A leader who builds and nurtures his kingdom.
Sage: A wise guide, passing down lessons to the next generation.
A Christ-Centered Marriage
There are so many practical ways couples can unite their strengths through Christ. Both partners must be individually yoked to Christ before they can truly come together as a couple.
God often gives different pieces of revelation to husband and wife, requiring them to counsel together and combine their insights to find complete solutions. This collaboration strengthens both the marriage and each partner's relationship with God.
Austin's experience as a couples therapist reveals that when men step into their true identity with compassion and accountability, it creates a safe space for women to embrace their feminine energy. This dynamic creates a powerful cycle of growth and mutual support.
Go and Do
This transformative message isn't meant to stay within the confines of a blog post or podcast episode. Consider sharing them with couples in your life who might be struggling with the world's "have, be, do" formula.
Building a Christ-centered marriage isn't about perfection – it's about progression. Whether you're married, engaged, or single, these principles can help you approach relationships with greater wisdom and purpose. Share this message with someone who needs to hear it, and together we can help build stronger families and marriages through Christ-centered principles.
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